i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
