note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
