If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
