Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
even my farts smell like vagina
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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