the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
