Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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