but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
