Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
