She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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