please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
