I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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