Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I die, sorry about rent.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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