Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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