Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
