Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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