So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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