Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you

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(732): View more from New Jersey

the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.

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(650): View more from California

passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.

(952): View more from Minnesota

You're a saint.

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