we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
