Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?