Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
