Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
