Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I fill condoms, not promises.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
