Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
