You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
