My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
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I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
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It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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