Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
