Your tits are I can't wait for
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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