just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
