Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
