We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
