Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So much Jack, so little girl.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
