There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize