I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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