I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
