if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
