I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
