Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
