needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So here I am, sexting at work.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
