after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
