So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Randomize
