we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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