Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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