She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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