just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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