you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
