hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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