I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Sober January is a disaster.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
