I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
