i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?