yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.