i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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