Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work

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(248): View more from Michigan

going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.

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(406): View more from Montana

Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"

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(678): View more from Georgia

Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.

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