The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie