Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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