Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

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  (410): A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis. (410): and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap. http://tfl.nu/onen
  Replies (26) Good night (1270) Bad night (2965)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.

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  (757): It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/luie
  Replies (23) Good night (1737) Bad night (4388)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY

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  (210): every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY http://tfl.nu/204o
  Replies (19) Good night (6766) Bad night (1145)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.

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  (215): Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too. http://tfl.nu/we0x
  Replies (12) Good night (4914) Bad night (1260)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.

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  (610): The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous. http://tfl.nu/sorz
  Replies (3) Good night (3573) Bad night (1319)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water

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  (570): I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water http://tfl.nu/9gtg
  Replies (2) Good night (840) Bad night (2318)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"

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  (513): I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem" http://tfl.nu/bkek
  Replies (4) Good night (2085) Bad night (890)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think

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  (443): If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think http://tfl.nu/rcq5
  Replies (11) Good night (2073) Bad night (809)
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  (310): View more from California

  Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere

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  (310): Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/c0r9
  Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (905)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?

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  (202): I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right? http://tfl.nu/xedt
  Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (444)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.

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  (651): Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called. http://tfl.nu/hamr
  Replies (1) Good night (1116) Bad night (413)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."

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  (502): There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs." http://tfl.nu/6a8r
  Replies (11) Good night (1252) Bad night (472)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat

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  (631): Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat http://tfl.nu/zh7r
  Replies (2) Good night (706) Bad night (355)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops

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  (651): He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops http://tfl.nu/giq3
  Replies (0) Good night (622) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too

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  (909): I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too http://tfl.nu/cqg1
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (172)

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