just tell him i said nine months
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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