Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
