I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
