Her vagina should come with caution tape.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
