Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That accounts for only three of the penises
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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