I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
