Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
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Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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