So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize