I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
