We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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