Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It's never too late to be topless.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Randomize
