i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
