The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
