if only i could text you this smell
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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