im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You need Xanax blowdarts
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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