belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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