we're blogging at a bar
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
