i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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