I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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